On August 14th, 2015, as I was moving my things from my mom’s apartment in West Hollywood to my new place in Los Feliz, a driver didn’t stop at a two-way stop sign on Virgil and Marathon, ramming into my car at a confident speed. This is what happened to my car:
Airbags deployed, bumper was shattered, and smoke fumed from my car, rendering it undriveable. For reasons legal and personal I’m not going to describe the other party. Initially, I was calm as a pond, handling the situation with a manner I was consciously proud of. No pain, no anxiety, no problem (and I’m a baby, I get anxious super easily). That was the adrenaline talking. A few hours later when my dad picked me up and drove me to his house, I started bawling. I think I scared my dad, I don’t know if he’d ever seen me cry before.
Whiplash was a thing that concerned me, but I figured whatever soreness I felt now would chill down in a few days if I kept taking care of my neck and back with ice and ibuprofen and good posture. Uhhhh…. three days after the accident, I woke with all the pain hitting me at once. My whole body, especially head, neck, and back, hurt like hell. I could barely roll over and stand up, and the prospect of taking time off work and not having any income scared the shit out of me.
I did take time off work (but not too much), I started seeing a chiropractor, I got a MRI, I went to pain management, I saw a spiritual advisor for PTSD and naturally documented my medical microdrama with selfies and whatever. So here they are. (See, this too is work in a way, right? This has intent. Hospital chic is so on-trend, anyway. And people like selfies more than actual artist art. This selfie series is then literally the Sistine Chapel images' 2016 incarnation. Am I being productive enough?)
This is the blank, soulless, grim ass stare I'd involuntarily make in most of these selfies:
Until, with time, I learned some new facial expressions and portraiture metrics:
This is how I mostly felt all the time, Salvia Plath vibes:
Spent a lot of time with this machine:
And this machine:
I had the opportunity to rock out on some feeties:
And fuck around with the planet finder app:
Some rooms do not have cool planets:
Therapist office addendum to the chiropractor selfies:
I'm not sure during which period of my life I cried more; post-car accident or listening to Bright Eyes.
And back to the chiropractic clinic:
I've thought so often now about the human neck, the nervous system, basic "wow the body is REALLY ALL CONNECTED" shit--
but it's true, neck injuries and pains are particularly debilitating because the neck is such a crucial connective system between the brain and body
countless neurotransmitters roll thru this tube of bone, ligament, and nerve tissue every minute.
Why selfies, and not a poem? Or a collage? Why not a kinetic interdisciplinary emotional response app? A sandwich to cope? A capsule collection for H&M? Because--- most often, my coping mechanism for anything is heavy introspection, keeping diaries, documenting, taking self portraits, whatever, but I didn't have the desire or emotional wherewithal to directly deal with this particular issue. Obviously I've continued my art practice when I could and I've kept five diaries (a dream journal, a personal metrics book, a business book, and a sketchbook, which mostly contain ALL CAPS RANTS AND SCRIBBELS AND SHIT in colored ink)
Besides, I've gotta remind myself that even though in a great deal of pain, I'm still like hella cute. Look, I've still got it: ⤵️
And of course, had there been no MRI work, there would be no sexy and intimate pic like this to send to all my fans on tinder:
I was discharged from the chiropractor in January 2016. I'm still going to go in for checkups regularly, do what I can to take care of my body, and get plenty of rest and stay relaxed and keep a straight posture and all of that and... I know what you're thinking, what in the f~*~UCK IS THAT STEVE JOBS' GHOST TURTLENECK DRESS?? As a fashion lifestyle expert, let me tell you: techie turtlenecks are IN, unchill trauma is OUT.
🙏 LA roads bless & pray 4 good KARma 🚗